A LETTER TO MY DEAR GOVERNMENT

DEAR GOVERNMENT,

It hasn't escaped my attention that a lot of make-up work is going on on our roads (a good thing),neither has it escaped my attention that said make-up takes place in the rush hour of the morning (a very bad thing). And, to add to my list of 'not-escaping-attention stuff', is the fact that these repair works are coinciding with the hyped second coming of Big bro Barry(honestly, I don't know what to make of that).

Now, dear government, there is nothing as refreshing and relieving as seeing that huge crater that once swallowed a Vitz getting kicked on its deep ball by some good repair work. However, I pose - does it have to be in the morning?  I believe most road construction take place in the night, or, you know at a less busy time of day (so basically night). Sure I know you want us to see the good job being done, but guess what? We don't want to see it being done. We just want to be like,"Hey the roads are less jumpy today. I wonder whats wrong with my car?" Then you look out and see the potholes have been replaced by an ugly but effective patch. Trust me, Dear Government, we will give you, and not any silly aliens from pluto, the credits.

Also, do these repair works need to coincide with the coming of His Excellency Barrack Obama?(if I'm wrong on the title please pardon me. I can only be Kenyan). Now, I'm not making any connections(so incase you make any please, remind yourselves its just a bad dream), but did it have to happen now, when he is actually coming?  Does this mean that our roads will go for, oh crap, ages before getting a facelift since we don't know when the next U.S president will come by to say hi. Couldn't this have come at a better time, you know, at a time when the only guests we are expecting are our new born babies?

The traffic caused by these repair works is -*sigh*-draining. There is nothing as ugly as tail lights bumper to bumper and trust me, some cars have really ugly-ass tail lights. No really, and I won't even mention Toyota Platz - oh god, I did mention Toyota Platz didn't I? Anyway, seeing traffic jam start right outside my gate is akeen to coming before going in - it totally kills your psyche man. And don't get me started on overlapping PSV's. Someone needs to take a slipper and spank the drivers of these vehicles to shape. Either that or, you know, have them committed into mental institutions because these people are -forgive my language- fucking insane !

Speaking of PSV's - these matatus man - smh- those things are damn too rickety and uncomfortable. Its like rolling on your backside on a  cardboard, only paying for the mabati and the chance to gasp in horror each time the driver narrowly misses another car or the odd pedestrian, who is not on the right anyway. By the way, speaking of PSV's, have you seen the new Climax Coach? Man, that thing's quite a looker. Travels from here to Kitale. Its dope I tell you.

Anyway, I hope this reaches you on time, my Dear Government before I change my mind and start congragulating you.

Dearly from,
Distressed citizen,
Chizi Freshi