Beauty, and The Wonder of loving it

The glistening down
Dusk
Thinly clouded westside
Fall
Sun setting to rise
In worlds away and beyond
Orange flatters grey clouds
Strokes of the rosy rays
On my cold skin play
In me
Invokes
Sound wonder and Raw marvel
At the golden shine
Horizon
Of a glorious Sun down.

So, you may not be all that I wished for
But you have provided all that I needed
And so much more
You may not be up to the pristine wishes
Of my faulty fancies
But you have been more than 
A fulfilling reality
And for you my love I give, Oh glorious sundown.

EMOTIONAL DISCOURSE

I'm trapped in a glass case of emotion.
My mind is a vine of confusion and muse distortion. Maybe I'm a little psychotic but I know that despite the despair I exude, I 'm  optimistic, a roving feline, or as Romeo and Juliet, I believe in destiny. Sure they both die at the end but who said a babboon can't enjoy some wind beating against the red anus even when it's red and ugly as fuck.

In the never ending quest to make it, I realised damn it! I'm too serious. Hell, I even make the name serious frown at me like 'seriously?' (He he that's my laughable attempt at modern day lingua). Also, its raining, our houses are flooding. Better wake up with a smile as we scoop these waters in our plates, cups and spoons as we break into a unanimous 'Count your blessings' chorus, washing the water down to a farmer who truth be told looks out of place in Nairobi. He already has enough blessings, but who said you can't stock 'em? Then, go to work where my boss will probably shout at me with some vibes and rhymes that will make Eminem sound silly and uneducated and make Kanye's philosophical rants sound like gibberish a madman would say before disappearing down a hallway into their rooms in a mental institution. Also I think Kanye and Eminem are the best rappers ever, alongside Khaligraph and Kalamashaka crew (Johnny Vigeti, Roba and that third guy whose name I can't remember to recall), and Zaka na Kah and every single member of Ukoo Flani Mau Mau. If you are not here its not personal, its professional.

I bet insanity is taking over me slowly, like how a malignant cancer just fucks you up one Monday morning when you are singing 'Singing in the shower' in the shower. But atleast I get to experience the descent to insanity instead of having it bludgeon me down to the dregs of normalcy one Sunday afternoon as I listen to Esther Wahome on my Hi-Fi, or to Bahati lament in each of his tracks (No hate).

It takes a lot to look at life, and not stare at the harsh reality. No seriously. Fuck reality! I want to live in this blissful world of my dreams, where I am a caveman with intellect and a prisoner with no dilemma. A world where I am the most important cog holding humanity together. A world whereby I'm the go-to guy, without whom the world would be using spoons to fetch water and...wait, we actually do that. I mean, who wants to know that they are insignificant and their presence in the world is only mildly consequential? Not useless, just not entirely as useful as we believe. Seriously, to hell with that. I am the man of men. The reason I was born is because humanity needs me, needs me like a Jay needs a Beyonce, or a Beyonce needs a lemonade (sorry I could not control myself. Just had to use it). Without me, guys would just be stumbling around, being insignificant and shit. Me, I'm the shit... I carry my own tissue paper to wipe other shits* with.

So I woke up today and thought 'Wait a minute. Sitting around and staring at the cold hard facts just depresses me.' So I decided I'm going to avert my eyes from reality and flutter my eyelids at fantasy and daydream. I had a connection with them once but we lost touch (poor them. They must have been so lost without me). My primary school Math teacher was harsh, but my crush was not. She was hot. So I stared at her during Math lessons to lessen the discomfiture of sitting through two whole hours of pure numerical grinds and nothing else. Also I thought she smiled at me once but I'm not sure. It looked like a cross between a grimace and an oh-God-get-me-out-of-here-sneer. But who said a man can't dream. She probably thought she was still a virgin but I took it away from her in my wet dreams. Also I know she liked me she just didn't want to show it. Well keep playing hardball girl, me and my significant self won't be hanging around forever. Take advantage of me while the offer lasts, otherwise you lose me, you lose a very key part of humanity. What is that you say? That I ain't that important? Please refer to previous paragraph because you are reading too hard. As you do that, I will be on my way to Bahamas, or Mathare, depending on how much I'm willing to save.

Anyway, the path to insanity isn't that bad at all, trust me. Despite what movies tell you, there is no axe-murdering. Insane people don't Jason Vorhees the hell out of people. I don't even own an axe to begin with. And a mask, I don't have that too. And also I don't have the name Jason, much as I would wish to. The transition is just a smooth segue. One minute you are er-okay. The next minute, you are flipping birds to everyone. When you are not flipping those birds, then you are holding them captive when someone flips you some. Also, you begin to think you are flying when you are just high, forgetting that being high is different from flying. Also, if I said high, and you thought 'drugs', you are the insane one.
Seriously, being delusional is healthy. Science backs up on me pretty hard. Wait, what? That didn't sound right. I meant to say, Science backs me up pretty hard. Phewks.

From The Confused Musings of Kiraka D. Mugatsia: Thought Chronicles

WHY DO WE CHEAT IN RELATIONSHIPS?

So goes the million dollar question. But is the question as complex as we make it or is it so easy to answer that we would rather not admit it?

With the rise in HIV infections in marriages, most of us have really found a legitimate ground to question the sanity of marriage. With more people in the life-long commitment getting into the mpango wa kando (clandestine relationships) phenomenon, it seems as though getting married now acts as a front to hide the cesspit of sexual decadence many would wish to keep secret. But why? Why would we commit to someone only to turn on them faster than Flash on a free ride down a slope? How bad could they have gotten since the first time we saw them?

'Relationship experts' have tried answering the question so many times but it seems they too perhaps think too much. For anyone who has ever been in a relationship, one can attest that when caught eating from the wrong plate, there is no shortage of a myriad of reasons. My spouse didn't do this or that, my marriage has lost taste, sex with my wife/husband is boring and so many more flimsy excuses that usually make you want to slap someone. Which brings me to the topic - why do we cheat?

Answer : because we can. And we all know that. Any reason given when the caught is only but an excuse. Cheating happens because there is choice. While cultural inertia, upbringing, personality e.t.c do play a part, at the end of the day, the choice is what determines the action.  And there is no easier action to take when the marriage hits the rocks than to seek solace elsewhere. It's the easy way out and most of us  appreciate an easier route if it will help us get what we want( which is why we cheat in exams too. I'm guilty of this one, sorry).

Relationships are hard work, even if you are Romeo and Julliet, and committing single-mindedly to that one person you chose (choice again!) is even harder. How to succeed in relationships and marriages is no different from how to succeed in any other field. It's success you seek after all. While the area of application may be different, the tips to succeed are all from the same copy book - hard work, persistence, re-invention e.t.c.

There is not a list of things that make people cheat. People cheat because cheating and choosing to cheat exist and unless a study shows it's actually a mental disease, its something that we can all do, if we choose to that is. And remaining faithful is a choice too.

You can read more of this here

Photo : courtesy

THE MENTAL SHIFT OF THE TURN OF A CALENDER

Hi there beautiful people. Sorry for the lengthened silence. Lets just say the holidays got me. I hope they have been nothing short of breathtaking on your end. But anyway, I have crawled back from the self-imposed silence exile and as usual have emerged with a thought nurtured by my time in darkness. Why is it that a new year elicits so much excitement and hope despite the fact that it is only a flip of a calender?

All the trite of new year resoultions, higher expectations. Is the dawn of the 1st of January really a cause for celebration or just a façade of new beginnings with hardly any newness to it?

Whichever way one looks at it, the new year is bound to always elicit some freshness and jubilation in any one human and alive enough to experience it, even to cynics and skeptics like me. There is always a certain mystic and charm of a fresh year that goes just beyond the flip of the calender. A new year is like a new day - it offers its own unique enigma and with so many days ahead, offers us a chance to make it.

While the act of flipping over the calender is a simple one, the shift of attitude and character that we so often wish to carry over to the new year certainly requires more than a desire or wish. Just like how you plan your day ahead, making plans for the new year late in the year preceding is vital. This not only enables you curve ways to achieve the intended targets, it also allows you time to go through the targets and correct them where neccesary or be more specific with what you want to achieve as well as laying the concrete plans on how you want to achieve it.

The reason many new year resolutions fail before even day two is usually because most are made on a whim, a moment's spark based on a previous or maybe recurrent desire. Just because you have been wanting to do something doesn't mean your brain will automatically respond to the sudden wish to change momentum. The brain is a little bastard. It loves status quo. Unless change is introduced slowly until it settles into rythm, it will always reject whatever we wish to impose. That is why it is said 'Practice makes perfect'. The tiny goo that is our brain often needs a little firm prodding so as to get off that lazy ass we so often allow it to slump into.

Another reason they fail miserably on their belly is because we so often want to do them all at once. Multi-tasking, they say. Well, multi-tasking lowers productivity. Confusing the brain on what to do means you never concentrate on a single task hence never complete it and if you do complete it, then it's not well done. The best way to finish tasks is to do them one by one, in order of priorities. Hard, but doable. Offer your full keenness on one task and do it well. The results will be stupendous. But like everything, the brain will need conditioning through consistency to pick this up too.

A new year is like a fresh page - it offers you an empty space to fill. But just because space is there doesn't translate then to a sudden influx of knowledge on what to do with it. You will need to give your brain what to work with beforehand and you will need to have lain down an outline, even if it is just in your head for a start. Have a silhouette so as you know how to draw the body. Striking blindly is what leads to burn out and loss of motivation hence leaving most of us feeling dreary and jaded by February. An outline is a motivation on itself with the other being a vision of who we want to be.

A new year resolution is never the solution anyway. True, it offers a 'a new possibility' but as a writer, I know a fresh page doesn't automatically translate to the thoughts being any kinder. Often times, as long as the idea is there, a  firm push is all it needs, a little grit. It's all in the head. Your desire and mentality determine your actions. You want change, you start to work on it as soon as possible. It doesn't matter what. A change could happen on March 23rd or on December 28th. It could happen within the year you wish it to or it could carry on into the succeeding year. The thing is not to expect miracles just because we desire or just because we have faith. Action. That's all it takes. The first step is the most important. And the first step is to realise you don't need a new year to make a change. Start now. There isn't much time.

RELIGIOUS MUSINGS (Christianity)

Religion is a noble practice that, unfortunately, has the capacity to reduce the most intelligent of us into a walking mess of retrogression. For every wonderful religious folk, there are a few extremists who smear this aristocratic front with the unholy muds it seeks to make redundant. This they do by either being too uptight, holier-than-thou, snobbish and condescending or by deliberately misquoting scriptures to further a selfish agenda. Then, there is a special case that use religion for self development, which in itself is not a bad thing, until you realise it is 'at all cost', the flocks I am preaching to be damned, humanity be damned. Nothing done that laughs in the face of humanity bears fruits that aren't bitter or painful. Religion is one of the pillars of hope for humanity and thus must be treated with the reverence it deserves.

My religious background taught me to respect religion and that rings true even now, though I m a skeptic. People's belief and faith in religion should never ever be taken for granted, which therefore means that those using religion for the betterment of their own pockets while leaving the flock still flocking in poverty have best come out of their con-man shaped cocoon and be honest. The tithe and offering offered are to furnish your Highrise apartment and buy you a Beamer. Lay it all bare. It's okay. True, maybe it will be detrimental and self defeating but humanity complexity has your back, you will still have your stalwart believers.

Still on religious folks riding on religion -shaped business agenda, isn't it ironical that some of the folks who claim to have a personal relationship with God barely have a sense of shame or empathy? That even when they have wronged and their awful misadventure has led to a loss of life, they still claim innocence and cast aspersions to those calling them out of their fault?  Isn't it ironical that the humility they preach to us, the humility they tell us God expects from us, is barely a term they can spell? That, as they speak of how pure Jesus was, their hearts are darker than a moonless night and their motives contain more evil than the name devil? The recent outing of fake pastors has been happening at such startling frequency that it makes religion as a whole look like a glorified syndicate of wrong doers. It is high time the christian folks reconsider their ways and shift the trust they have dumped on these so called Men of God onto something else, maybe wholly onto The Holy Bible. Men of God! More like men from dogs. If I sound angry, its because I am. The motives of many churches today has shifted from spreading the Gospel then making money to making money then making money then making more money; those silly believers can go swallow soap and positive thoughts. Churches have become burdens, cursed mansions of sin and christians should distance themselves from such churches and just work their way around the Bible. Damn, these pastors aren't even telling you anything that isn't in the Bible and understanding metaphors is quite easy if you read well.

Moving onto the religious folks themselves, bigotry is a sin. Seems some don't get that. While being a human who plays by the rules of a Diety might come with benefits such as ranking higher on the morality ladder, intolerance and at times outright loathe to people who don't consent to your set of rules is an indespicable act that I believe even the father of lies might be tempted to run away from. It doesn't matter how awful 'other' human beings are, discrimination, dogmatism and hatred are not admirable traits. It doesn't matter how many charities you support single-handedly or how well you can manoeuvre the Bible blindfolded, when you hate, you befoul all your good deeds. The greatest commandment according to God himself is love one another (see I also read the Bible). True, its hard, at times downright impossible, to love another, but that's when tolerance is required. It's an action, not just a noun. Sometimes ( and I believe its almost every time), there is usually an undercurrent of reason flowing beneath the tide of rashness, a voice that asks for second thoughts and second chances. A voice that asks you to forgive. That's the voice of humanity. It's there in almost all of us, and if you feel it, listen to it and follow what it tells you. Associating with only one of your kind is comfortable, but being able to accomodate others that you have nothing in common with is priceless. Being accomodative is one of the best traits any of us could ever possess.

So, therefore, in our daily dealings with life, let us remind ourselves that Religion is not a tool for separation and self-magnification but is an important column on which we support our cause to rid ourselves of these ghosts of prejudice that make us lose hope in ourselves.

A DREAMER'S PRAYER

Part 2

The magnitude of this dream I know not, maybe just you and the devil might know, but I look not to ask the devil for favours before I exhaust all my options with You, oh God. Hitherto, my entire existence has been structured, systematic and possibly even a lie. So no more shall I look to buy time, for I have wasted enough hours to let some more pass me by. So on this day, and every other day henceforth, let me be able to nullify this mental block that tries to nest in this mind. Doesn't this filth obstacle not know the bore it lay on a fragile heart fuelled by pure passion and purpose? I wish to be able to twist its slimy throat between my mortal fingers. I was built for this, and no hinderance can stall nor hold hostage anymore this ball of resilience, for this body is a host of eminent legacy. I won't stop the chase so as to appease my lazy alter ego, for I have wasted enough time being a slouch to give up this new-found, relieving purpose and focus. Lord, don't let me let myself die before I let this dream out, for it pulls me, draws me with a force stronger than a magnetic attraction and failure to try and reach it will be the ultimate failure and letdown to, not just myself but to everyone with high expectations of me, and most importantly you. Would you want that? Then give me the strength. My bones are hollow and fractured. My muscles are cramped. My brain is dead, my spirit is broken. My last ounce of strength is spent and now my fingers can no longer hold. My eyes are dimming. I am sick and weary. Wornout and deadbeat. Yet I can't stop this dream from happening. It'a all over me, Dear God, like some kind of disease, like a compulsive habit that I cannot rid myself of and one that I surely wouldn't want to rid myself of even if I had that power. Even at my most laguid and indolent, it creeps up on me, swarm me like critters of prey on a prey. Its malignancy is as potent as cancerous growth. Let me put it out there, Dear God, before  it bursts out of the seams of my thoroughly incapacitated body and leave me a shell of putrification.

No Dear God, I am not asking you to lay it for me on a silver platter. All I am asking for is the strength. I want to hold on just a little longer, push just a little harder, to do it just a little better, to weather the extremes just a bit more courageously, yet I know, all that cannot and will not happen if the only thing I keep doing is keeping on dreaming. I set out to meet these expectations and surpass them and I call upon you to hold my hand and guide me to safety. I am a mess, but I wouldn't want to die a mess that failed to heed when summoned to righten wrongs.

So help me God. I may not be religious, but my belief in You is steadfast, and I know You believe in me too. So I ask that You see me through and bless all that I do.

Amen.

A DREAMER'S PRAYER

Part 1

After a toil and hunt for the bread, daily I sit upon this creaking bed, sick and weary, the uncertainities, consequences and possibilities of tomorrow leaving me shaken and dreary. If these dreams come with a price, I trust I am committed enough to pay. If this life comes with a risk, then on death I'm willing to lay. Bless the mind that dreams and bless tenfold the hand that does. These dreams look to be dispatched and dispensed to the world and a print to be left by each word.

In these puny hands is a task, a task that has to be done before dusk. I'm sick of putting on a mask. True, I seek humility but let me shed some wight off my modesty. Not that I want to be a brag, but rather proclaim to the world the fact that I am no drag. Whether I live this dream by mouth or hand, I don't mind, but from this moment on, I lift the blind off this raw mind and let the dreams that had been hidden now be the guide I live by and abide.

Patience is a virtue. I'm willing to accomodate a delay, but don't let the despair that come my way fair better than I. Having walked the lowest streets of existence, Lord don't let me bring me back into that being. Books, knowledge, passion, fooling, cursing, learning, living all don't amount to much but if ever, by a strong pull of the fates, these dreams never amount to much, then let me be able to let my children also be called 'a rich man's children'. Let their loins also be dressed in a rich man's scent and that the footprints they leave be made of gold. Let it be that on their every walk, around them, be people willing to kiss the ground that they walk. Yet I still pray open these eyes, that they may not just visualise the dream, but be the dream, that the dreams cease to just be dreams, but become the very existence, the very meaning of life, the definition of living and being alive

It is my sincere hope that my insistence isn't a bother Dear Lord, for this is just the beginning. You never tire and my prayer is that upon me you may cast your undying and tireless spirit, that if I am to die, that I may die in the battlefield, that I may bite the bullets and still rise. That I may avoid suffocation in squalor owing to my yawning pockets and screaming wallets. The coin I toss, and ready I am to count my loss, all so that I may live the life I dream to live. Bold, ready to face the demons of my repose and cast aside the overwhelming doubt, ready to meet my destiny, who will be waiting on me with open arms and a smile, I suppose.

Before me I see beams. The spotlight upon me shines and the applause behind the splitting white beams die down. Is it, that my mere appearance, just the fact that I have shown up, is to be celebrated more than the show I put on?  That is more like it, it seems, that fortune upon me never gleams and that I should let go of these pesky ideas and give up these silly dreams. If I had reality at the mercy of my whims, Dear Lord, it would have been my dream to cast away these dreams, but a purpose beyond personal gratification beckons, and I am no longer too selfish to ignore. I have grown sick of constantly fighting this war, forever on the fence, not sure whether to stay or go.  So, I say now, as I have said before, I fully embrace my valuable valour and let this dream go, so that I may at last put to rest my ambivalence with my life. Now, I hope to keep up the work, consistence, and keep pushing my limits, persistence. I ask for strength, Oh Lord, that even when I am questioned and doubted, I can keep a stable foot and hold my balance. I pray that I may find solace in solitude, quiescence, that I may find bright ambience even in the dimmest of nights.  ...

To be continued.

EDUCATION MUSINGS

Education. Such a noble cause, yet  can be a fool's paradise and a pain in the butt if taken lightly. It is said that education affects the quality of life. But what is true is that only quality education guarantees quality life. In Kenya education has ceased being about learning and become more about who attaains the very first letter of the alphabet. Education has become more about syllabus. If anything, education, as seen through the skeptic's eyes, should be discarded and replaced with learning, acquisition of knowledge and skills without the confines of a linear system of knowing things. It is learning that is an eternal phenomenon and not education.

Now to waylay any misunderstanding that may get any stalwarts of education on my vulnerable throat, I am not against schools and curriculum. What I seek to antagonise in this confused rant is the teaching of children about things only applicable within the confines of a class room- 'Text book learning'.

In most of our schools, this is  the learning going on, where students and teachers alike go through a staid, plain and linear system with no deviation whatsoever towards interesting, entertaining or vibrancy. Students steamroll through a straight road where every sign is predictable despite the fact that one has never gone through it before. And any progressive teacher who attempts to infuse some simillitude of liveliness and excitement is rebuffed in a manner similar to a Priest exorcising a demon. Yet we wonder why our graduates barely scrap through the employment line. It's the system man.

Education, as it is, is a treasure hunt, only without the adventurous journey but with the same reward- nothing. Most times anyway.  Seen through the skeptic's eyes, having one child go through 8-4-4 and have another drop out (for good reason of course i.e lack of fees and nothing else really) after class eight, it would not surprise the skeptic to see the dropout make it in life while the graduate nips at the heels of employment. It is as if going school is just delaying an imminent failure. Learning is an important aspect of humanity and learning about life and how to live and how to live a quality life should be a number one priority of schools - after gaining of knowledge of course.

Our obssession with grades often veils our reason. Why should we have bright students  that can barely comply with the active side of life and work. Life skills are just as important, if not more important, than good grades. Students should learn not just how it works but how to make it work. Rather than have it done, they should do it. Rather than just write procedures, they should perform them too. Action. It's about action. Life gifts those that doeth not those that sayeth. It why our education system is limping. We just have too many sayers yet very few doers. We learn about what will be on the exams and not what will help us in the future. We don't get to learn about life and while it would be unfair to say schools don't help in improving lives, it is fair to say that schools that don't groom us for life aren't helping no matter what grade they help us attain. I mean thanks for the grade but then what? 

We should not put too much value in grades and forget an individual's other useful qualities lurking beyond the grasps of a grade. Life respects no grades. If anything, life has its own meaner and strenous grading system. With life, you just don't need to read books, you better know how that thing the book is talking about works. That is how life grades us. And even then, life will still mock you before bestowing on  you the medal. It is unfortunate that some of us( the skeptic obviously) never learnt much about life in school and that is why the ropes are tighter and stakes higher for us. It was and had always been 'good grades, good life', but its turning out that that is quite disputable. Grades will do exactly zilch when it is time for that breakthrough. Okay, maybe saying grades are useless is hyperbolic and disrespectful, but a majority of what will be important and appreciated by most will be those skills that were totally acquired outside school, skills that the hard knocks of life taught you.

And speaking of teaching, we can't talk about improving the quality of our education without calling out our teachers. Our teachers should be able to do more than just teach. Our teachers should be able to inspire and motivate and guide and counsel. Forget the cane, unless you are teaching a herd of cattle, in which case you should question how you got that job as a teacher. Majority of us today look for inspiration, someone to talk to and look up to. Teachers and parents should teach us those skills they have. Those skills their parents and their parents' parents taught them. Trust me, combine life skills with a killer grade and you get one badass citizen ready to face off with life and kick it on its iron balls. 

From 'The Confused Musings Of Kiraka D. M.'

The Confused Musings Of Kiraka D.M: Life Musings

Part 1

What really is life? Is life even real? What even constitutes reality?

Life is different things to different people. Life is money. Life is sex. Life is knowledge. Life is partying. Aside from breathing, life really has no single definition. Life is religion. Life is power. Life is politics. Life is law and order. Life is drugs. Life is sobriety. Life is life. Life does what life does and therefore adheres to no Diety nor plans. Life is just complex.

Seeing as to how life can be so diverse, it is my belief that we live as we believe life means to us. No two people can lead the same kind of life. There could be a few similar setpieces but the flow of life is as vast as the number of people on earth. Human complexity oversimplify life and overcomplicate the simplicity of life. Life is simply too complex to be understood and understanding life might be the end of living. The moment the winds of life are at our whims, manipulation checks in. Humanity simply cannot be trusted with such immoderate power. What we see; shreds of our thoughts interacting with the planes of perception is life and that's how it is. Life is an illusion; an artist's masterpiece perhaps. And how interesting that the only real thing about life is death. Life is mortality and mortality is a perception that's certainly indicates that life has occured. That which lives has to die. That which died must have had life.

Whenever things hit a brick wall, or fuck us up in the anus with mock, it has been drilled in our ever expansive brains that a short request to a certain Diety provides answers to those difficult questions life tasks us with. That ask and it shall be given. Nothing wrong with belief, except that life bears no respect to belief in its abstract form. Pray and it shall be given. No. Do and you shall be rewarded. Do and you might never be rewarded. Seems unfair but that's just life. Life rewards morons and punishes the good. Life favours the forever prosperous with more prosperity and flips the bird to those languishing in peruny with more misery. Life makes parties stressful to others and funerals parties for others. We all want to be fair. That's why we have rules. But life is life and life is a big dick. Rules will take us to a certain point, beyond which, in the abyss of uncertainity, in the realms beyond reality, in the swollen darkness of the unknown, life takes its course and metes out justice in accordance with its own twisted mind.

Part 2

Life is reality and reality is a nightmare with pockets of sweet dreams. The cornucopia of well-being is an idea that exists in the sweet dreams and to some, sweet dreams are a peak too high to be soared. It's a climax that can't be reached even with effort and effort is a deliberate force that gets things done. As such, unjust reward- failure of reward, is perhaps what makes life pain for others because life is pain. That effort can go unnoticed and unappreciated, that reward could befall the luckiest jackass instead of the most knocked by hardwork is a travesty of justice. It's so unbecoming and uncouth of life. It's as if the angel of reward formed a neat yaw upon coming across hardwork and effort and talent and ambition and deciding to go instead to the cunning and cheat, leaving behind a sack of frustration and indignation.

The illusion of reality could be ruthless. It favours the persistent ones and the consistent once but unfortunately the lucky ones( lucky is used loosely here) too. Effort can take you places but the draw favours the lucky gambler.  There are human beings. Then there are human beings who just are and bemoaning the Diety of unfairness is misadviced. Not much progress can be gained from sitting. A prayer should be a declaration,not a plea. But unfortunately life doesn't owe us the reward anyway. Life demands its reward from us. It's insane, all a labyrinth of confusion and derision, a cacophany of pure madness and misunderstanding. Sometimes in life rooftops are walked on and ceilings shield you from rain. Life is madness. Humanity is madness. Madness that builds structures taller than the tallest landmark. Nothing in life will ever be equal. The best will always have someone better than them, and its okay. At a hundred steps, there is one at a thousand. At a thousand steps, there is one at one thousand five hundred. Comparing yourself to them is pointless. What, you thought you were the most talented? The fairest of them?  Well you aren't. You today should be better than you yesterday, that should be the goal. Besides, being first is an illusion. What makes the first the best? The most beautiful? And the first certainly had another to look up to don't they? That makes the one they look up to the first.  Being first doesn't mean approval from the seven billion of us. It just means getting approval from those that love and enjoy what you do. Which leaves enough room at the top for those not intimidated by life's shrewd dealings.

Life is different things to different people. The illusion of knowledge, religion, power should not be used as a cocoon to discrete oneself from the rest of humanity. We are all part of this story. So while we are all stars of our own universe, where we are the throbbing epicentre of our world, projecting that vibe kindly to the perception around you is the ultimate beat of being. That is truly being a star. That is life- being part of the story. Accepting that while life is an illusion and a morass of confusion,  somewhere in the dirt of its being, if you look carefully, you will find meaning. Because that's just life- Life is hope. Ultimately we define what life means to us.