WHY DO WE CHEAT IN RELATIONSHIPS?

So goes the million dollar question. But is the question as complex as we make it or is it so easy to answer that we would rather not admit it?

With the rise in HIV infections in marriages, most of us have really found a legitimate ground to question the sanity of marriage. With more people in the life-long commitment getting into the mpango wa kando (clandestine relationships) phenomenon, it seems as though getting married now acts as a front to hide the cesspit of sexual decadence many would wish to keep secret. But why? Why would we commit to someone only to turn on them faster than Flash on a free ride down a slope? How bad could they have gotten since the first time we saw them?

'Relationship experts' have tried answering the question so many times but it seems they too perhaps think too much. For anyone who has ever been in a relationship, one can attest that when caught eating from the wrong plate, there is no shortage of a myriad of reasons. My spouse didn't do this or that, my marriage has lost taste, sex with my wife/husband is boring and so many more flimsy excuses that usually make you want to slap someone. Which brings me to the topic - why do we cheat?

Answer : because we can. And we all know that. Any reason given when the caught is only but an excuse. Cheating happens because there is choice. While cultural inertia, upbringing, personality e.t.c do play a part, at the end of the day, the choice is what determines the action.  And there is no easier action to take when the marriage hits the rocks than to seek solace elsewhere. It's the easy way out and most of us  appreciate an easier route if it will help us get what we want( which is why we cheat in exams too. I'm guilty of this one, sorry).

Relationships are hard work, even if you are Romeo and Julliet, and committing single-mindedly to that one person you chose (choice again!) is even harder. How to succeed in relationships and marriages is no different from how to succeed in any other field. It's success you seek after all. While the area of application may be different, the tips to succeed are all from the same copy book - hard work, persistence, re-invention e.t.c.

There is not a list of things that make people cheat. People cheat because cheating and choosing to cheat exist and unless a study shows it's actually a mental disease, its something that we can all do, if we choose to that is. And remaining faithful is a choice too.

You can read more of this here

Photo : courtesy

Comments

  1. Sarah Nanjala23 January 2016 at 23:30

    i never thought of it that way. it really does make sense now

    ReplyDelete
  2. Chuoyo E Protus25 January 2016 at 13:54

    Sarah thanks sana. Ita just my opinion though. Its how I see it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown19 August 2020 at 23:56

    True,at the end of the day it all comes down to personal choice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chuoyo E Protus20 August 2020 at 06:12

      Yes, very much! Everything else is noise really

      Delete

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