A DREAMER'S PRAYER

Part 1

After a toil and hunt for the bread, daily I sit upon this creaking bed, sick and weary, the uncertainities, consequences and possibilities of tomorrow leaving me shaken and dreary. If these dreams come with a price, I trust I am committed enough to pay. If this life comes with a risk, then on death I'm willing to lay. Bless the mind that dreams and bless tenfold the hand that does. These dreams look to be dispatched and dispensed to the world and a print to be left by each word.

In these puny hands is a task, a task that has to be done before dusk. I'm sick of putting on a mask. True, I seek humility but let me shed some wight off my modesty. Not that I want to be a brag, but rather proclaim to the world the fact that I am no drag. Whether I live this dream by mouth or hand, I don't mind, but from this moment on, I lift the blind off this raw mind and let the dreams that had been hidden now be the guide I live by and abide.

Patience is a virtue. I'm willing to accomodate a delay, but don't let the despair that come my way fair better than I. Having walked the lowest streets of existence, Lord don't let me bring me back into that being. Books, knowledge, passion, fooling, cursing, learning, living all don't amount to much but if ever, by a strong pull of the fates, these dreams never amount to much, then let me be able to let my children also be called 'a rich man's children'. Let their loins also be dressed in a rich man's scent and that the footprints they leave be made of gold. Let it be that on their every walk, around them, be people willing to kiss the ground that they walk. Yet I still pray open these eyes, that they may not just visualise the dream, but be the dream, that the dreams cease to just be dreams, but become the very existence, the very meaning of life, the definition of living and being alive

It is my sincere hope that my insistence isn't a bother Dear Lord, for this is just the beginning. You never tire and my prayer is that upon me you may cast your undying and tireless spirit, that if I am to die, that I may die in the battlefield, that I may bite the bullets and still rise. That I may avoid suffocation in squalor owing to my yawning pockets and screaming wallets. The coin I toss, and ready I am to count my loss, all so that I may live the life I dream to live. Bold, ready to face the demons of my repose and cast aside the overwhelming doubt, ready to meet my destiny, who will be waiting on me with open arms and a smile, I suppose.

Before me I see beams. The spotlight upon me shines and the applause behind the splitting white beams die down. Is it, that my mere appearance, just the fact that I have shown up, is to be celebrated more than the show I put on?  That is more like it, it seems, that fortune upon me never gleams and that I should let go of these pesky ideas and give up these silly dreams. If I had reality at the mercy of my whims, Dear Lord, it would have been my dream to cast away these dreams, but a purpose beyond personal gratification beckons, and I am no longer too selfish to ignore. I have grown sick of constantly fighting this war, forever on the fence, not sure whether to stay or go.  So, I say now, as I have said before, I fully embrace my valuable valour and let this dream go, so that I may at last put to rest my ambivalence with my life. Now, I hope to keep up the work, consistence, and keep pushing my limits, persistence. I ask for strength, Oh Lord, that even when I am questioned and doubted, I can keep a stable foot and hold my balance. I pray that I may find solace in solitude, quiescence, that I may find bright ambience even in the dimmest of nights.  ...

To be continued.

TO MY DEAREST

In this reeking lair
Seated on this cold creeking chair
I write
Write to you
With hope that you stop your wander
Write about you
With dear candor
Write for you
To celebrate your honour

In abject squalor
I have been
On empty stomach
I have slept, on clammy concretes I have l lain
My back washed in pain,
I have bent and kissed the lowest ebb
Of living and being alive
Take this scribe, my dearest
As a frank contract
A bold commitment to my utterances
That when you indeed rest in my arm
You will be peaceful through the night
And see the day just how you find right
At no one moment
Will you walk over the shards of glass
That malaised my entire existence
No longer
Will the soles of your feet be mapped with blisters and swells
Forget being famished and malnourished
With me dear, you are and will be forever cherished
Upon your head
I commit myself
All this struggle is for you
That you may know trouble
But not in its crudest element, misery
That you may cry
But not offend your face with a deluge
That you may fear
But no be paralysed with terror
And that you may smile
And break your ribs when laughing
Because I know that with you
My dearest
I have a reason to do more

'The Writing Of The Collosus: A Poem Anthology' by Kiraka D Mugatsia

A VOYAGE OF DESTINY

In a castaway land,
A land of thriving murk of poverty
A land where everyone was no one
Someone was born.
Through every wrong and right,
Through the thick and lean
Through the shrewd dealings of reality
A legend grew.
To blaze a trail, they sought
And the sky's enigmatic allure,
So fetching, blissful and pure
Beckoned
And who is the legend
Not to respond to the call to duty.
Never,
In the land where everyone was no one
Shall it remain the same
The stalemate has been broken
And cast atide on the dhow
Is Destiny
On the uncertain waters
Over peaceful depths
And unsettling shallows
It will float
Through the waves and the tides
Through the gentle waters that lap on its sides
The vessel will heed no divergent calls
As the wind fills the sail
No more shall it all be in vain
The voyage of destiny
From view in the periphery
Is set to dock
I advice you make merry
For from the castaway land
A land where everyone was no one
Someone has risen.

Photo from www.travelphotosforyou.com
Courtesy of Anna Andersson

EDUCATION MUSINGS

Education. Such a noble cause, yet  can be a fool's paradise and a pain in the butt if taken lightly. It is said that education affects the quality of life. But what is true is that only quality education guarantees quality life. In Kenya education has ceased being about learning and become more about who attaains the very first letter of the alphabet. Education has become more about syllabus. If anything, education, as seen through the skeptic's eyes, should be discarded and replaced with learning, acquisition of knowledge and skills without the confines of a linear system of knowing things. It is learning that is an eternal phenomenon and not education.

Now to waylay any misunderstanding that may get any stalwarts of education on my vulnerable throat, I am not against schools and curriculum. What I seek to antagonise in this confused rant is the teaching of children about things only applicable within the confines of a class room- 'Text book learning'.

In most of our schools, this is  the learning going on, where students and teachers alike go through a staid, plain and linear system with no deviation whatsoever towards interesting, entertaining or vibrancy. Students steamroll through a straight road where every sign is predictable despite the fact that one has never gone through it before. And any progressive teacher who attempts to infuse some simillitude of liveliness and excitement is rebuffed in a manner similar to a Priest exorcising a demon. Yet we wonder why our graduates barely scrap through the employment line. It's the system man.

Education, as it is, is a treasure hunt, only without the adventurous journey but with the same reward- nothing. Most times anyway.  Seen through the skeptic's eyes, having one child go through 8-4-4 and have another drop out (for good reason of course i.e lack of fees and nothing else really) after class eight, it would not surprise the skeptic to see the dropout make it in life while the graduate nips at the heels of employment. It is as if going school is just delaying an imminent failure. Learning is an important aspect of humanity and learning about life and how to live and how to live a quality life should be a number one priority of schools - after gaining of knowledge of course.

Our obssession with grades often veils our reason. Why should we have bright students  that can barely comply with the active side of life and work. Life skills are just as important, if not more important, than good grades. Students should learn not just how it works but how to make it work. Rather than have it done, they should do it. Rather than just write procedures, they should perform them too. Action. It's about action. Life gifts those that doeth not those that sayeth. It why our education system is limping. We just have too many sayers yet very few doers. We learn about what will be on the exams and not what will help us in the future. We don't get to learn about life and while it would be unfair to say schools don't help in improving lives, it is fair to say that schools that don't groom us for life aren't helping no matter what grade they help us attain. I mean thanks for the grade but then what? 

We should not put too much value in grades and forget an individual's other useful qualities lurking beyond the grasps of a grade. Life respects no grades. If anything, life has its own meaner and strenous grading system. With life, you just don't need to read books, you better know how that thing the book is talking about works. That is how life grades us. And even then, life will still mock you before bestowing on  you the medal. It is unfortunate that some of us( the skeptic obviously) never learnt much about life in school and that is why the ropes are tighter and stakes higher for us. It was and had always been 'good grades, good life', but its turning out that that is quite disputable. Grades will do exactly zilch when it is time for that breakthrough. Okay, maybe saying grades are useless is hyperbolic and disrespectful, but a majority of what will be important and appreciated by most will be those skills that were totally acquired outside school, skills that the hard knocks of life taught you.

And speaking of teaching, we can't talk about improving the quality of our education without calling out our teachers. Our teachers should be able to do more than just teach. Our teachers should be able to inspire and motivate and guide and counsel. Forget the cane, unless you are teaching a herd of cattle, in which case you should question how you got that job as a teacher. Majority of us today look for inspiration, someone to talk to and look up to. Teachers and parents should teach us those skills they have. Those skills their parents and their parents' parents taught them. Trust me, combine life skills with a killer grade and you get one badass citizen ready to face off with life and kick it on its iron balls. 

From 'The Confused Musings Of Kiraka D. M.'

The Confused Musings Of Kiraka D.M: Life Musings

Part 1

What really is life? Is life even real? What even constitutes reality?

Life is different things to different people. Life is money. Life is sex. Life is knowledge. Life is partying. Aside from breathing, life really has no single definition. Life is religion. Life is power. Life is politics. Life is law and order. Life is drugs. Life is sobriety. Life is life. Life does what life does and therefore adheres to no Diety nor plans. Life is just complex.

Seeing as to how life can be so diverse, it is my belief that we live as we believe life means to us. No two people can lead the same kind of life. There could be a few similar setpieces but the flow of life is as vast as the number of people on earth. Human complexity oversimplify life and overcomplicate the simplicity of life. Life is simply too complex to be understood and understanding life might be the end of living. The moment the winds of life are at our whims, manipulation checks in. Humanity simply cannot be trusted with such immoderate power. What we see; shreds of our thoughts interacting with the planes of perception is life and that's how it is. Life is an illusion; an artist's masterpiece perhaps. And how interesting that the only real thing about life is death. Life is mortality and mortality is a perception that's certainly indicates that life has occured. That which lives has to die. That which died must have had life.

Whenever things hit a brick wall, or fuck us up in the anus with mock, it has been drilled in our ever expansive brains that a short request to a certain Diety provides answers to those difficult questions life tasks us with. That ask and it shall be given. Nothing wrong with belief, except that life bears no respect to belief in its abstract form. Pray and it shall be given. No. Do and you shall be rewarded. Do and you might never be rewarded. Seems unfair but that's just life. Life rewards morons and punishes the good. Life favours the forever prosperous with more prosperity and flips the bird to those languishing in peruny with more misery. Life makes parties stressful to others and funerals parties for others. We all want to be fair. That's why we have rules. But life is life and life is a big dick. Rules will take us to a certain point, beyond which, in the abyss of uncertainity, in the realms beyond reality, in the swollen darkness of the unknown, life takes its course and metes out justice in accordance with its own twisted mind.

Part 2

Life is reality and reality is a nightmare with pockets of sweet dreams. The cornucopia of well-being is an idea that exists in the sweet dreams and to some, sweet dreams are a peak too high to be soared. It's a climax that can't be reached even with effort and effort is a deliberate force that gets things done. As such, unjust reward- failure of reward, is perhaps what makes life pain for others because life is pain. That effort can go unnoticed and unappreciated, that reward could befall the luckiest jackass instead of the most knocked by hardwork is a travesty of justice. It's so unbecoming and uncouth of life. It's as if the angel of reward formed a neat yaw upon coming across hardwork and effort and talent and ambition and deciding to go instead to the cunning and cheat, leaving behind a sack of frustration and indignation.

The illusion of reality could be ruthless. It favours the persistent ones and the consistent once but unfortunately the lucky ones( lucky is used loosely here) too. Effort can take you places but the draw favours the lucky gambler.  There are human beings. Then there are human beings who just are and bemoaning the Diety of unfairness is misadviced. Not much progress can be gained from sitting. A prayer should be a declaration,not a plea. But unfortunately life doesn't owe us the reward anyway. Life demands its reward from us. It's insane, all a labyrinth of confusion and derision, a cacophany of pure madness and misunderstanding. Sometimes in life rooftops are walked on and ceilings shield you from rain. Life is madness. Humanity is madness. Madness that builds structures taller than the tallest landmark. Nothing in life will ever be equal. The best will always have someone better than them, and its okay. At a hundred steps, there is one at a thousand. At a thousand steps, there is one at one thousand five hundred. Comparing yourself to them is pointless. What, you thought you were the most talented? The fairest of them?  Well you aren't. You today should be better than you yesterday, that should be the goal. Besides, being first is an illusion. What makes the first the best? The most beautiful? And the first certainly had another to look up to don't they? That makes the one they look up to the first.  Being first doesn't mean approval from the seven billion of us. It just means getting approval from those that love and enjoy what you do. Which leaves enough room at the top for those not intimidated by life's shrewd dealings.

Life is different things to different people. The illusion of knowledge, religion, power should not be used as a cocoon to discrete oneself from the rest of humanity. We are all part of this story. So while we are all stars of our own universe, where we are the throbbing epicentre of our world, projecting that vibe kindly to the perception around you is the ultimate beat of being. That is truly being a star. That is life- being part of the story. Accepting that while life is an illusion and a morass of confusion,  somewhere in the dirt of its being, if you look carefully, you will find meaning. Because that's just life- Life is hope. Ultimately we define what life means to us.

MY COUNTRY

My country
My love
Sweet and mellow
Like a dove
In you I was raised
In you I grew
And in you I will die
I will forever hold you in exhalted esteem
Higher than the tallest of landmarks
Your making, my being
Your being, my existance
Do those that make you look bad
Not see the thunder you steal
By the athletes you raise?
Do they ignore the performers you raise
All for a cheap sensationalism to get ahead?
By nature you have weaknesses
But by nature too you have strengths
And it is in your thriving goodness
That we revel
We are here
Because we conquered,
Laid to rest our fear
So as they pelt us
Stone us for their amusement
We desensitise
And trudge on in defiance
Because blessed is you
Kenya, my land.
With eyes ahead
Over obtacles, we keep moving
Backwards never, lest we keep losing
And in our grinding
We keep you growing
Eyes firmly on the road
To  see how far we head
With our faces brimming with hope
As we lay the ghosts of the past to bed.

I love you Kenya, my land
My mum and dad
Through good and bad
I will stick by you.

From 'The Writing Of The Collosus' A poem Anthology , a collection of poetry works by Kiraka D Mugatsia.

LETTER TO MY DEAR GOVERNMENT

Dear Government,

Ref: CONCERNING OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM

The recent unrest in some of our high schools is a matter of deep concern. For a place considered the epitome of a functional society, the schools have been cast in bad light following these misdeeds by rogue students, actions that throb with regression. For good cause, it set off those alarm bell in us and brought focus to more pressing issues than watching politicians try to outdo each other in this game of 'Who sucks the hardest'.

I choose to decry the curriculum for being too uptight and stuck up on books. I fault it and roast it on a criticism barbeque for its rigidity, I believe it makes students puppets that mimic their teachers. Indeed, our current education system leaves a lot to be desired and a change should be considered.

To clear the air, I in no way agree with Prof Jacob Kaimenyi on the abolition of Mocks just because a few students expressed a dislike towards it,because seriously students, you fear exams that much? Well good for you rogue student, life after school is there to serve you tea and biscuits in bed, worry not. But seriously, exams are a yardstick to measure progress and the  Mocks are a great mock before the punchline and one that creates the perfect vision for K.C.S.E. Instead, how about we change our curriculum while leaving our significant examinations intact. It's the whole system man that piles misery on our young minds. Instead of confidence, excesses in the system build tension. Pressure isn't bad but an overabundance of it is detrimental.

Each morning, on my way to my 'kibarua', I am usually greeted by the sight of six, seven and eight year olds carrying bags bigger than their parent's radios ( and trust me their parents have big ass radios that can win a sumo match). In there are countless books, each with assignments, all that were done the whole of the previous evening. No doubt the teacher's mean well but man, aren't they stretching it to its seams or what. The brain, much like the body it controls, needs a balance of activity to stop it from jolting to a halt. At a tender age, a formidable front of quality education, playtime and good sleep is needed to develop the hardworking, badass citizen we so covet. But no, as early as six, we have young children, barely ten, dragging large sacks of books to school- see them at five in the evening, with tonnes of more homework to be done all evening long. And the unfortunate part- it has been ossified in our minds that feeding children books like its going out of fashion will lead to development of extra-ordinary minds, which, I suppose was the reason behind practical subjects like Art and Craft AND Home Science being kicked out of the system and left to gather dust on the shelve of abandonment. P. E classes are just Math lessons in false identity.  Herein lies the fault in our thoughts. Sure, our children may be able to pour out the 26 letters of the English alphabet at a moment's notice, but can they be able to use these letters to write well? Will the A in Mathematics be the only thing that we think will make them good engineers? Will we have sportspeople?

All this then comes to our teachers, who lace the semblance of quality in  our education system with doubt. Year in, year out, they demand salary increment (not a bad thing). Yet the training institutions responsible for beating them to shape keep churning them out with the same standards of the 80s (Definitely not a good thing). This is despite the fast growth of and in the modern world. Technology, despite being the ubiquitous phenomenon it is, remains a foreign concept to even our freshest of teacher graduates. Sure, it will be costly to train I.T savvy teachers but it would even more costly to let our students keep getting out of hand. So, now we have  poorly paid teachers delivering outdated information to an exhausted child who only knows that the letter A stands for apple and nothing else and that addition between different numbers is unworkable. How will they grow? Our children are programmed for the exams and not prepared for life. Which shouldn't be the case.  Exams should just be part of the process not a destination. Once in high school, combine the pressure to pass with raging teen hormones and you get a cocktail of disaster. And we wonder why we have university students that can't tell apart a strike and a riot. It's the system man! The system.  This limp curriculum has outlived its golden days. It's a walking dead. Lets call in some change. They might or mightn't work but hey we aren't corpses. We are sentient enough to change.

P.S- The criminals who committed these henious acts of arson should face the law. Nothing justifies their extreme misdeeds

P.S.S- I wish to stamp this letter
                URGENT!

Dearly from,
An educated fool,
Chizzi Freshi